Courtney’s Movieblog

Next week a brand new semester starts, and in addition to this blog, I’ll be a part of the Capital News Service. I don’t know what that’s going to be like, but I’m sure that it’s nothing I can’t handle.

Nevertheless, it’s always good to have some ideas for entries in the storage in order to keep up the “three times a week” minimum. So here are some lists and commentaries to expect:

Top 10 movie schools

Top 10 most interesting ideas movies have given us

Top 10 “ugly” characters

Twilight vs. Harry Potter: Which will get the most box office? Note: Even with the next Harry Potter being pushed back to July, the fact that Twilight now occupies the November release date offers a prime opportunity to compare both franchises (unbiased, of course) and see which one will have a bigger turnout.

Top 10 action flicks

TV shows that haven’t bee done as films (but probably will be soon)

10 top valuable movie lessons

Movies stars I’d actually want to meet

There will also be reviews, of course, but judging from the fact I have one less movie I can see in the fall, there might not be a lot of current movie reviews.

Are the back-to-school blues getting you down? Never fear! In spirit of Tropic Thunder being the film that actually managed to get the No. 1 box office spot that The Dark Knight held for almost a month, here’s a look at my favorite funny films:

1. Animal House: The film that made fraternities infamous. It’s a shame that John Belushi didn’t make more funny movies before his passing.

2. The Blues Brothers: Who would have thought that what was supposed to be a last minute sketch on Saturday Night Live would have turned out to be one of the best comedies of all time? A great combination of slapstick, action, and music with cameos from some of the greatest music stars of the day like Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin.

3. Blades of Glory: I could only pick one Will Ferrell film for the list, and even though he has made so many and most of them are all great, this one has to be my favorite. It’s too easy to make fun of a sport that requires men to dress in girly-looking outfits…but I wonder if there ever will be a two-male skating team?

4. Robin Hood Men in Tights: Mel Brooks is always funny. And as the previous film proves, there’s nothing funnier than men in tights.

5. Dodgeball: It’s stupid and shows certain images that nobody ever wants to see, but it’s physical comedy at its best. It’s also a pretty good spoof of the sports movie genre: it has the oddball team, the rivals obsessed with winning, and the cantankerous coach.

6. The Mask: All I can say is thank goodness they didn’t remain true to the original story. It would have been pretty dark. Not only is it a great Jim Carrey, it also deserves credit for introducing Cameron Diaz. For her first role, she got one heck of an entrance!

7. Wayne’s World: Like The Blues Brothers, it’s one of the Saturday Night Live films that were actually good. Too bad it was also the last good one.

8. Austin Powers: The 60’s spy genre was never the same once Mike Myers donned the crushed velvet suit, glasses, and bad teeth. It gave us other great characters like Dr. Evil, Mini-Me, Number Two, and of course, Fat Bastard.

9. Spaceballs: Since Star Wars had prequels, I wonder if they’ll make one to Spaceballs to make fun of it? No, it would get old really fast — much like Star Wars.

10. School of Rock: It managed to be funny without being too gross. Besides, those kids turned out to be a great band!

I couldn’t make room for all of my favorites. Runners up go to Tommy Boy, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Ace Ventura, and The Wedding Singer. Any of your favorites I missed? Then feel free to share in your comments!

In case you haven’t already heard the news, Warner Brothers has apparently postponed the sixth Harry Potter, which was supposed to be released in November, to July 17, 2009 — practically a little less than a year from now. Even though the film is finished, their reasoning is that they feel they’ll have a bigger turnout in the summer, which will help them because of the aftereffects from the writer’s strike.

Many outraged Harry Potter fans have already expressed their displeasure over this — and I’m about to join them with the following rant.

How could they do this?! I mean, it’s one thing to postpone a release when the movie isn’t done yet. But it’s not only finished, it also had a teaser trailer released and the publicity is just starting to get underway! They can’t just go back and change it after all that!

And how can they justify this by claiming that summer would have a bigger turnout? November is the holiday movie season; just as many people would see it then as they would in the summer. I mean, it’s Harry freaking Potter! It’s so popular that they’d always have a big turnout!

The only bright side to this is that the wait between the sixth film and the two-part final film(s) would be shorter, but even that’s not a good enough excuse. We wouldn’t have cared how long we would have had to wait for Deathly Hallows as long as we got our fix from Half Blood Prince, even if it is a cliffhanger!

There are two possible outcomes of this: either we’ll have to wait until July, or the backlash from the fans and marketing publicity will be so great that they’ll change it back to November. As unlikely as it may be, I’m still hoping for the latter. Because as many have learned, you can’t screw with the fans.

After a whole summer full of comedies ranging from good to bad, Hollywood has saved the best for last. Tropic Thunder, the anticipated war movie spoof pairing Ben Stiller with Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr., has to be the funniest screwball Stiller movie since Dodgeball.

The premise is basically a film within a film. Three actors are trying to make a Vietnam movie based on the memoir of a battle-scarred and crazy veteran (Nick Nolte). However, the stars are uncooperative and very mismatched. Stiller plays a fading action star who tried and failed to get an Oscar nomination by playing a mentally disabled character. Black is an overweight comedian who wants to be taken more seriously, but also has a very severe drug problem (he hides his stash in candy bags). And Downey’s character is a heavyweight actor that for some reason was cast to play an African American soldier by putting on blackface and getting so deep into the role that he refuses to break character until the DVD commentary. Needless to say, this is very offensive to one of his costars, a rapper who is trying to transition into acting while advertising his products.

In order to prevent the film from becoming a big-budget disaster, their frustrated director (Steve Coogan) is convinced to take them into the wild, away from their agents and assistants, to make them act like a team. Unfortunately, there are still plenty of landmines that aren’t detected, and a Southeastern Asian drug gang mistakes the actors for the real American army. Unable to realize that it’s no longer a movie, the actors have to toughen up in order to make it out in one piece.

The film is an excellent parody of the Hollywood industry and war movies in general. In a creative twist, the film opens with film trailers of the previous movies that Black’s, Stiller’s, and Downey’s characters have made. Stiller once again proves that nobody can play a spoiled nitwit like he can. Downey, as offensive as his role is, effectively disappears into character. Who knew that Iron Man had a sense of humor? And Black’s character is a thinly veiled parody of the troubles of late comedians Chris Farley and John Belushi (let’s hope that it’s pure fiction on his part). Together, the trio makes a great comedic team.

Like many comedies, the movie contains several things that probably should never be seen by the public — fake innards, Jack Black in his underwear/shirtless and yet you can’t help laughing even while you cringe. Also added to the mayhem are memorable cameos made by Matthew McConaughey and even Tom Cruise. Cruise, whether or not he’s trying to make fun of the public’s current opinion of him, almost steals the show as a crude and insane producer. One wonders how much acting was really involved.

In short, Tropic Thunder is the funniest comedy of the summer. Hopefully, Stiller, Downey, and Black can make another movie together, or make more public appearances/comedy sketches like they did on American Idol and the MTV Movie Awards.

8 out of 10 Sparty Heads.

Retcon: the act of changing a specific plotline already established in a story. Most often used in a sequel or in a soap opera.

Seriously, retcons are why most sequels suck. For some reason or another, writers and directors feel like they need to change some element of the plot in order to make the sequel more interesting. Sometimes it can work, if they come up with a good excuse that explains why that part of the story has been changed or proven to be untrue. But most of the time, these excuses are really lame and result from sloppy writing. Here are 10 of what I think are the lamest retcons ever seen in a movie. Be warned, these do contain spoilers:

1. Spider-Man 3: Even those who have never read the comics know that Peter’s Uncle Ben was killed by a robber that Peter let get away. So why in God’s name did they decide to change it so that Uncle Ben was killed by the robber’s accomplice, Flint Marko (a.k.a. Sandman)?! It just takes away the impact of the lesson that Peter learned to make him Spider-Man: with great power comes great responsibility.

2. Star Wars prequels: Okay, they did manage to explain away C-3p0 not remembering Obi-Wan or Anakin by having his data erased or whatever. But having Anakin being the result of a virgin birth? The midiclorians? Anakin building the droids?! This was just too coincidental. Then again, George Lucas probably thought there needed to be more familiar faces for the movies to be as big as their predecessors.

3. Halloween: Oh dear, this one has so many. First, they kill off Jamie Lee Curtis so that her daughter can be the highlight of the fourth, fifth, and sixth movies. Then they bring her back in Halloween: H20 with the excuse that she faked her death (and her daughter is never mentioned again, I might add). At the end of that film, she kills Michael, then in the last movie, it’s revealed that Michael had switched places with an unfortunate security guard at the last minute, so he didn’t die. And you wonder why nobody takes horror films seriously anymore.

4. The Mummy 2: In the first one, Evie is supposed to be the reincarnation of Imhotep’s lover and the Pharaoh’s concubine. Then, in the second film, it turns out she’s actually reincarnated from the Pharaoh’s daughter and some other chick is the the lover. I’m so glad I’m not seeing the third one.

5. Superman Returns: Okay, if this film was supposed erase the third and fourth Superman films and take place after the second, then how could Lois Lane know that her son was fathered by Superman? She wasn’t even supposed to remember that they briefly got together!

6. The Lion King 2: Disney sequels are no strangers to retcons, and this one is no exception. The ending of the first film made it clear (since lions and lionesses had distinct coloring) that Simba and Nala had a boy. But in this film, they changed it so that the cub was a girl. Not to mention that the original film never said anything about Scar having followers, let alone a mate. Yet another reason why the film never needed a sequel in the first place.

7. Austin Powers in Goldmember: I know you’re not supposed to take these films seriously because they’re supposed to be fun, but having Austin and Dr. Evil turn out to be long lost brothers was a little much.

8. The Godfather Part III: I thought Michael supposedly had custody of the kids, since he was a mob boss and therefore could make sure Kay never saw them again. Yet in this movie, they were with her, excusing it that his son knew about Fredo and didn’t want anything to do with his father. Whatever, I still found it unrealistic compared to the other two films.

9. The Romy and Michele TV sequel: Not only does this film not match up with where the women were in their lives at the begining of the original film, but it also may have switched the characters so that “Romy” acted more like “Michele” and vice versa. Confused? So was I.

10. Batman Begins: It’s at the bottom of the list because this actually was a good film. However, if this was considered to be part of the old Batman franchise, it wouldn’t match with the events of the first Batman. Then again, it’s considered a new franchise, so maybe it doesn’t count.

See what I mean? I feel like movies use retcons because they think the audience won’t know the difference. Obviously, we know better. Feel free to name your own suggestions!

Aside from the new Harry Potter trailer, I’ve seen some other previews, although not all of them look that good:

The Housebunny: I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels like this is a rip-off of Legally Blonde. And I know this won’t be half as good, even if this Playbunny really turns out to be a genuis, because I don’t think it would be anywhere near as believable. And at least Elle Woods had her intregrity, despite wearing a Playbunny outfit in the party scene.

Star Wars The Clone Wars: Obviously another attempt to milk the dying cow that is the Star Wars franchise. This one doesn’t even have the original cast doing voices!

Hamlet 2: The song “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” is actually quite catchy. Okay, that’s just so wrong on so many levels.

Disaster Movie: Seriously, this film franchise needs to stop. They aren’t even making fun of disaster films, they’re just spoofing most movies that were released in the past year like Indiana Jones and Enchanted! You can watch that sort of thing on Saturday Night Live for free!

HSM Senior Year: Everyone knows how I feel about those movies, so it’s pretty obvious I won’t be seeing it. This one looks just as cheesy as the others, and merely watching the clip, let alone seeing the posters, was enough to make me feel ill. It would have been fine if they just left it on TV with the others.

The Princess and the Frog: Yes! A return to Disney 2-D animation! This one looks pretty cute. I read on Wikipedia that contrary to what the trailer hints at, it’s not a version of “The Frog Prince” but of a different fairy tale, “The Frog Princess.” I certainly can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Madagascar 2: Not only will there be another Ice Age film, but now they’re making a sequel to this. I mean, it was a cute movie, but why do they have to make a sequel to everything?!

Feel free to share other previews you’ve seen or any thoughts about the ones I’ve listed. Once again, just because I don’t like High School Musical doesn’t mean I think any less of those who do.

Stoner movies may be the best antidrug publicity there is. The stoner characters usually act so stupid that there can’t be any doubt that smoking weed really does kill brain cells.

Such is the case with the new film Pineapple Express, which contains the classic comedy formula of a duo being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The trouble begins with Dale (Seth Rogen) trying to escape the usual doldrums of his life by dressing up in funny costumes to spice up his job of serving legal papers, dating a high school girl, and smoking rare weed provided by his dealer Saul (James Franco). But while serving legal papers to another drug dealer, he witnesses a murder. He flees, but unfortunately for him, he leaves behind a stogie containing the rare “Pineapple Express” weed, which leads the criminals directly to him and Saul. The two are forced to run for their lives, unwittingly getting further entangled in a huge drug-making scheme.

The film is at its funniest when Saul and Dale are trying to figure things out under the influence. Nothing they say makes any sense whatsoever, yet that doesn’t stop it from being hilarious. However, it loses some of its vigor as the film turns from comedy to action as the witless wonders confront the bad guys. It gets so over-the-top that any person would have to admit that the premise was stupid, even as they laugh.

I haven’t seen a lot of Seth Rogen’s other films to make a fair judgement of his performance, though from what I heard he basically plays the same slacker character in every movie. On the other hand, it was great to see James Franco in a role that doesn’t involve constant whining and brooding like he did in Spider-Man. Though Saul is pretty much the same as every stoner movie character, his cluelessness and harebrained ideas that result from getting high make him a likeable yet idiotic guy. He and Rogen also have great comedic chemistry, because although Rogen is the more serious of the duo, they are equals in terms of (lack of) intellectual capacity. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if they’re acting high or if they really did smoke a doobie in order to seem more realistic.

So if you are a fan of stoner comedies, this would a good one to see.

6 out of 10 Sparty Heads

I usually see more movies on TV than in theaters, some for the very first time. So here’s an overview of the movies I’ve been watching lately:

10 Things I Hate About You: It’s the first time I’ve seen this since Heath Ledger’s passing. Maybe it’s true that you never appreciate some actors until they’re gone, because even though this is just another teen movie, I couldn’t get enough of his character. He was so hot, and he and Julia Stiles had good chemistry.

Penelope: A really cute fairy tale movie about a girl (Christina Ricci) cursed with a pig’s nose, which can only be cured by the love of a blueblood. I didn’t get why all her potential suitors were repulsed by her nose, because it wasn’t that ugly. In fact, it was kind of cute. But I guess that was supposed to show how shallow they all were. The best part of the movie is that she learned to like herself before she found true love, which helped her in more ways then one. I don’t want to spoil anything, so you should see for yourself.

Miss Congeniality: A refreshing take on the cliche “makeover” story. I loved the comedic interplay between Sandra Bullock and Michael Caine.

Fantastic Four: Maybe not the best Marvel superhero movie, but at least it was funny. No doubt a third one is in the works.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea’s Family Reunion: Tyler Perry’s infamous drag queen seems a bit out of place in a romantic melodrama, but all her scenes were funny. And at least she doesn’t take crap from anyone.

Nanny McPhee: If you’ve seen one nanny movie, you’ve probably seen them all, though these kids’ behavior were ten times worse than the ones in the other films. However, I liked Emma Thompson as Nanny McPhee. The only part I didn’t understand is why the children behaving better made her pretty. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the message of inner beauty and how looks don’t matter?

Spaceballs: The best spoof of Star Wars ever. Ironically, the plot itself is easier to follow than that of Star Wars, or at least the prequels.

Next entry I’ll review some of the new previews/commercials I’ve seen. Until then, feel free to comment and may the Schwartz be with you!

Did anybody hear about the car accident Morgan Freeman was in? Apparently, it was serious, though he was conscious enough to make jokes at people who gathered around to take pictures (seriously, does no one have integrity?).

I hope he’s going to be okay. Still, I can’t help thinking that this is another example of how The Dark Knight is cursed. At least it’s still No. 1 at the box office. How embarassing would it have been to fall in second to the third Mummy flick?

One of these things I don’t normally like in movies are downer endings, or depressing movies in general. However, that doesn’t mean I like some movies that happen to have sad endings. Amadeus, for example, is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it’s about two composers that destroy both themselves and each other: Mozart dies young (though his music remains immortal) while Salieri rots in an insane asylum, tormented by his jealousy. From a cold perspective, that is a big downer.

But you have to admit that some movies are so depressing that it’s difficult to watch. Even if the films are brilliant, real life is sad enough without movies showing how worse things could be. So here are what I think are the 10 most depressing films:

1. Million Dollar Baby: It’s a good thing I didn’t see the film back when I saw the first trailer; I thought it would be fun because it looked like a female Rocky. The relationship between Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank is poignant because it’s the only bright spot in their otherwise tragic lives (both their families hate them). And then Hillary ends up paralyzed from a fight, bringing the whole assisted suicide issue to a painful light.

2. Philadelphia: Any movie about a terminally ill person is sad, but to watch Tom Hanks’ character physically deteriorate from AIDS before your eyes is almost too painful to bear. What makes the whole thing worse is that he has to endure prejudice with the legal case, but still, you can’t help but admire how he wasn’t going to let his former employees treat him that way.

3. Brokeback Mountain: A film where all the characters’ lives are ruined in some way. And the last scene with Ennis (Heath Ledger) looking at Jack’s shirt never fails to bring tears.

4. Mystic River: This story is pure tragedy. A guy is molested as a kid, then when he grows up, he is accused of killing the daughter of one of his friends, then is killed by the vengeful father, only to later discover that the guy was innocent all along. And to top it all off, it was the guy’s own wife who told the father she thought he was guilty!

5. Sweeney Todd: Proof that not all musicals are campy fun. Tim Burton manages to make it even more sad by removing some of the more lighthearted elements from the original Broadway musical, like Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett making jokes about what kind of victims they’ll use in their “recipe”.

6. Romeo and Juliet: Shakespeare was the master of tragedy, and this one was a big one. Two families aren’t able to resolve their petty feud until their lovesick teens kill themselves. Which, in my opinion was a waste. Considering the fact that Romeo and Juliet barely knew each other, they might not have really loved each other in the first place.

7. Sin City: A dystopic city where all the bad guys are in power and all the good guys have to sacrifice their lives and decency in order to do what they think is right. Though I think the idea of gun-toting hookers was kind of cool.

8. The Dark Knight: Yes, this was a spectacular film, but getting past all the parts with the Joker, it is really sad. I mean, it shows how easily human beings can be corrupted in order to survive, no matter how good their intentions are. And Batman, the real hero, isn’t trusted by the public because of the whole vigilante issue.

9. Cast Away: Poor Tom Hanks spends all those years on that desert island with only a volleyball company. When he’s finally rescued, he finds out that everybody moved on without him, including his girlfriend, so he’s left to rebuild a whole new life. If that’s not depressing, I don’t know what is.

10. Edward Scissorhands: I know this film wasn’t really supposed to be sad, but it always gets me how quickly the stupid neighbors turn on poor Edward (Johnny Depp), even if they did think he was a criminal. It sucks to be different.

What movies do you find the most depressing? Are there any ones you like? Share your thoughts!